How to Choose Funeral Music: Traditional Favorites and Modern Alternatives (with Examples)

Choosing funeral music feels impossible when you're already carrying so much. You want something that honors your person, comforts your family, and fits the moment, but the options seem endless and the stakes feel high. The truth is there's no single "right" song. The best choices are meaningful to you and appropriate for your service. This guide gives you a practical path forward, clear examples based on current trends, and a simple template you can adapt today.

Start With The Basics: Fast Decisions Under Stress

When you're making dozens of decisions in a short time, you need a framework, not an endless list of songs.

What Funeral Music Actually Does

Funeral music sets the tone as people arrive, creating a shared emotional space. It supports quiet reflection during key moments. It honors the personality and values of the person who died. And it unifies the room, giving everyone a common experience when words alone feel insufficient.

You don't need to find the perfect song. You need songs that are meaningful and service appropriate—check the lyrics, consider the mood, and make sure the length fits your program.

How Many Songs You Need And Where They Go

Most funeral services use three to four songs total, placed at these moments:

1. Opening/Arrival: Plays as guests gather. Choose something welcoming and steady, not lyrically complex.
2. Reflection/Tribute: Often placed after the eulogy. This is your most personal selection.
3. Closing/Committal: The final piece as people depart or as the casket moves. This should feel uplifting or peaceful.
4. Optional Reception/Exit Music: Background music for a reception or post-service gathering.

Include silence between songs. Silence gives people space to absorb their own thoughts.

Who Makes The Final Call

Decision makers are usually the next of kin or designated funeral planner, but you need to coordinate with the officiant and the venue. To reduce family conflict, try a ten-minute huddle where everyone shares one "must-have," one "nice-to-have," and anything that feels like a "no-go." This surfaces concerns early and gives you a clear starting point.

The Practical Constraints People Learn Too Late

Before you fall in love with a specific song, check these constraints. They can save you from last-minute changes.

Venue And Faith-Based Restrictions

Some churches restrict secular music. Catholic funerals require music that reflects the themes of the funeral liturgy, particularly the paschal mystery. Secular songs aren't automatically banned, but they may be limited to moments outside the core liturgy. Some Protestant denominations, like the Church of Christ, prohibit instruments entirely and allow only a cappella singing. Always confirm the rules early.

Recorded Versus Live Music

Your playback options include recorded tracks, organ or piano, a solo vocalist, a choir, or a live band. Recorded music is predictable and easy to time. Live performances add a personal touch but require coordination and sound checks.

Most funeral homes hold ASCAP, BMI, and SESAC licenses that cover recorded music playback. If you're using a live performer or creating a custom playlist on a personal device, confirm coverage to avoid copyright issues, especially if you're livestreaming the service.

Ask your venue these questions before finalizing:

• Who operates the sound system?
• What file formats do they accept (MP3, CD, streaming link)?
• Is Wi-Fi reliable if you need to stream?
• Are there time limits for each song?
• Will someone screen for explicit lyrics or unexpected content?

Time, Pacing, And Emotional Tone

A common mistake is stacking three tearjerkers back to back, leaving everyone emotionally drained midway through. Mix the mood: one comforting piece, one deeply personal tribute, and one hopeful or uplifting song. Keep each selection to three to five minutes unless your venue can accommodate longer tracks.

A Simple Step-By-Step Method To Choose Songs

You can build a meaningful playlist in about thirty minutes using this method. It works whether you're planning a traditional church service or a secular celebration of life.

Step 1: Define The Tone In One Sentence

Start by completing this sentence: "This service should feel ______." Examples include "quiet and traditional," "spiritual and hopeful," "warm and story-driven," or "a celebration of life." This single statement becomes your filter for every song choice.

Step 2: Pick One Anchor Song That Sounds Like Them

Choose one song that captures something essential about your person. Ask yourself: what song would they recognize in five seconds? This could be tied to their faith, the era they loved, a hobby, their hometown, or a specific relationship. If you're stuck, think about what played in their car, at their kitchen table, or at their favorite celebrations.

This anchor song becomes the heart of your playlist. Building around one strong choice is easier than evaluating fifty options at once.

Step 3: Fill The Three Service Moments

Use your anchor song to guide the remaining slots:

• Opening: If your anchor is personal and upbeat, open with something more neutral and welcoming. If your anchor is contemplative, open with something similarly gentle.
• Reflection/Tribute: Place your anchor song here, right after the eulogy or personal remarks. This is when its meaning will land strongest.
• Closing: Choose something uplifting or peaceful that moves people forward—a hymn of hope, an acoustic ballad, or an instrumental piece.

Step 4: Screen Lyrics And Context

Run a quick check on each song:

• Do the lyrics match your intent? A breakup song repurposed as a grief song can send mixed messages.
• Are there explicit words or themes that might upset attendees?
• Is the context well known? An inside joke that only three people understand may fall flat.

This step takes five minutes per song and prevents awkward moments.

Step 5: Confirm With Officiant And Lock The Playlist

Finalize your selections at least 48 to 72 hours before the service. Designate one person as the point of contact for any music changes. Send the final list to the officiant and venue coordinator in writing.

Traditional Funeral Music: Common Choices And When They Fit

Traditional songs remain popular because they're familiar, often suitable for group singing, and contain comforting themes that have supported generations through loss.

Why Traditional Choices Still Work

These songs create a sense of community. Many people know the melodies and can join in, which can be comforting when you feel powerless. They also fit seamlessly into religious settings and are widely understood as respectful and appropriate.

Top Traditional Picks From 2025 Rankings

Amazing Grace (1779 hymn by John Newton) is the most popular traditional funeral song in the United States for 2025. It works beautifully in nearly any faith-forward service. The melody is recognizable, the lyrics speak of redemption and comfort, and it can be performed as a simple vocal solo, with bagpipes, or with full organ.

How Great Thou Art ranks second among traditional hymns in 2025 data. It carries an uplifting message that many families find hopeful without being overly somber. It's especially effective as a closing piece.

Ave Maria (Franz Schubert) is a top traditional choice, particularly for Catholic funerals. It adds formality and a classical touch, making it ideal for liturgical settings or when you want a more ceremonial feel.

Other traditional standards appearing frequently in 2025 lists include "Be Not Afraid," which offers reassurance directly in its title, and "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," known for its gentle, consoling melody.

Classical And Instrumental Options

Instrumental music works well when you have a mixed-belief audience, when singing feels too difficult, or when venue constraints limit vocals. Chopin's Piano Sonata No. 2, commonly known as the Funeral March, is a recognizable processional piece with deep historical roots in funeral tradition. A simple piano arrangement of any of the traditional hymns above can also provide a softer, more reflective atmosphere.

Modern Alternatives: Meaningful Without Feeling Inappropriate

Contemporary songs are increasingly chosen because they reflect the real lives people lived. The dominant trend from 2023 to 2026 is personalization—families blending hymns with pop, rock, country, and other genres that held meaning for the deceased.

Why Contemporary Songs Are On The Rise

People want to honor who their person actually was. If they spent weekends at country music festivals, loved driving to classic rock, or played Ed Sheeran on repeat, those songs become part of their story. Using them acknowledges that story directly.

Top Modern Picks From 2025 Rankings

See You Again by Wiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Puth is the number one modern or contemporary song in 2025 US funeral rankings. It functions as a tribute ballad focused on relationship and separation, making it ideal for the reflection slot after the eulogy.

Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran is a leading modern choice, particularly resonant for younger generations and for services where a parent or child is being mourned. The lyrics center on family grief and memory, creating an immediate emotional connection.

Other widely used modern standards from 2025 lists include:

• Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen, which balances melancholy with beauty
• My Way by Frank Sinatra, often chosen for its message of a life lived on one's own terms

Country And Sentimental Options

If your person was a country music fan, 2025 data shows these are frequently selected:

• Go Rest High on That Mountain by Vince Gill
• Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver
• If I Die Young by The Band Perry
• Angels Among Us by Alabama

Choose the genre that reflects their everyday life: what they listened to in the car, at home, or during celebrations.

Cultural And Community Traditions

You don't have to be in New Orleans to learn from its traditions. A New Orleans jazz funeral has two distinct parts: the somber dirge procession to the cemetery, known as "Cutting the Body Loose," and the upbeat second-line celebration after burial. This tradition originated in the 19th century with benevolent societies that provided burial insurance and community support for formerly enslaved African Americans.

The practical takeaway for any service is the emotional arc. You can mirror the transition from solemn reflection to joyful remembrance without copying the full ritual. Start with a quiet, introspective piece, then close with something that feels like a release or a celebration.

Ready-To-Use Song Planning Templates

These templates give you a starting point. Adapt them freely.

Template A: Traditional Church Service (3–4 slots)

• Opening: "Amazing Grace" (instrumental or sung)
• Reflection: "Ave Maria" (if Catholic) or "How Great Thou Art"
• Closing: "Be Not Afraid" or a favorite hymn of hope
• Reception: Instrumental classical arrangements

Confirm church rules early. Some slots may need to align with specific liturgical moments.

Template B: Secular Memorial (3 slots + optional reception set)

• Opening: A gentle acoustic track or instrumental piece
• Reflection: Your anchor modern song (e.g., "Supermarket Flowers")
• Closing: An uplifting secular song like "My Way" or a hopeful instrumental
• Reception: A background playlist of the person's favorite artists

Template C: Blended Service (traditional + modern)

• Opening: One traditional hymn for the older generation ("Amazing Grace")
• Reflection: Your anchor modern song that tells their story ("See You Again")
• Closing: One uplifting piece that bridges both worlds, such as "How Great Thou Art" or a contemporary ballad with spiritual themes

"If You're Stuck" Shortlists By Purpose

• Comforting: "Amazing Grace," "Ave Maria," "Angels Among Us"
• Faith-forward: "How Great Thou Art," "Be Not Afraid"
• Personal tribute: "See You Again," "Supermarket Flowers," "Go Rest High on That Mountain"
• Uplifting close: "My Way," "Take Me Home, Country Roads," "Humble and Kind"

Quick FAQs

Is it okay to play non-religious songs at a funeral?
It depends on the venue and faith tradition. Many funeral homes and secular venues allow any music. Catholic and some Protestant churches may limit secular songs to preludes, postludes, or receptions. Confirm with your officiant early.

How many songs should we choose?
Most services use three to four songs plus a moment of silence. This gives you an opening, a reflection piece, and a closing without overwhelming the schedule.

Can we play the person's favorite song even if it's upbeat?
Yes. Place it intentionally. Upbeat songs often work best as a closing piece or during the reception. They can provide a moment of joy and release after the more somber parts of the service.

Live performance versus recording, what's easier?
Recorded music is more predictable and easier to time. Live performances add a personal touch but require coordination, sound checks, and sometimes sheet music or licensing. Choose based on your bandwidth and venue capabilities.

What if family members disagree?
Use the anchor song method. Find one song everyone can agree represents the person. Then let different family members each contribute one song to a specific moment. This distributes decision making while keeping the playlist balanced.

Conclusion

You have a clear path forward. Define the tone you want in one sentence. Pick one anchor song that sounds like your person. Fill the three key moments with purpose. Screen for lyrics and context. Confirm with your officiant and venue, then lock the playlist.

Meaningful beats perfect. A simple, intentional set of songs that reflects your person's life and comforts the people who loved them is enough. You don't need to build a symphony. You just need a few honest notes that help everyone say goodbye.