How to Choose a Funeral Home: Questions to Ask

Making funeral arrangements while grieving, pressed for time, or coordinating from another state leaves little room for second-guessing. You need clear answers fast—not sales pressure or runarounds. This guide arms you with the right questions, explains your federally protected rights on pricing, and shows you how to compare funeral homes with confidence.

Before You Call: Know Your Non-Negotiables

Five minutes of clarity now saves hours of confusion later. Before contacting any funeral home, answer these questions for yourself:

What type of disposition? Burial or cremation? Viewing or no viewing? These choices drive cost more than anything else. According to the National Funeral Directors Association's 2023 data, a traditional burial funeral with viewing costs a median of $8,300 nationally, rising to $9,995 with a vault. Cremation with viewing averages $6,280. Direct cremation or immediate burial—options with no formal viewing—cost significantly less.

What's the budget? Know your range and funding source: estate, life insurance, veterans benefits, or family contributions. A realistic number keeps conversations focused and defuses pressure tactics.

What are the timing constraints? Some religious or cultural traditions require burial within days. Tight timelines narrow your options and may affect pricing.

Where does this need to happen? Near where the person died? Near family? Near a specific cemetery or place of worship? If death occurred out of state, you'll need a provider experienced in transporting remains.

Write down must-haves versus nice-to-haves. You don't need every service a funeral home offers. Knowing your priorities protects you from upselling.

Your Rights Under the FTC Funeral Rule

Federal law gives you specific protections when shopping for funeral services. Understanding these rights changes how conversations go.

You Can Demand the General Price List

Funeral homes must provide a written, itemized General Price List when you request it—in person or over the phone. This isn't optional courtesy. The GPL must include at least 16 services with prices: basic services fee, embalming, direct cremation, immediate burial, caskets, and more. Request it by phone before giving your name.

You Have the Right to Itemized Pricing

Providers cannot force package deals. They must quote individual item prices, even when offering bundles. When a funeral home only mentions packages, respond: "Can you break down the itemized prices for that?"

You Must Receive a Written Statement Before Paying

Before signing contracts or making payments, the funeral home must give you a written Statement of Goods and Services Selected. This lists every item you chose, each price, and the total cost. Read it carefully. Question anything unclear.

Third-Party Caskets and Urns Are Your Right

Funeral homes cannot refuse caskets or urns purchased elsewhere, and they cannot charge handling fees—unless specific state or local law requires otherwise (which must be disclosed in writing). If they cite a law, ask them to show it.

Embalming Is Not Federally Required

Funeral homes must disclose that embalming isn't legally required except in limited circumstances. Some states do require embalming or refrigeration after a certain timeframe, but this varies. When a provider claims embalming is required, ask: "Is that state law or your policy? Show me the specific rule."

Phone Pricing Must Be Accurate

A 2023 FTC undercover sweep found 39 of 278 funeral providers violated pricing rules—most commonly by refusing phone quotes or giving inconsistent prices. You're entitled to accurate information from their price lists during any call.

What this means for you: Don't accept vague answers. If a funeral home won't provide pricing over the phone, that's a compliance violation. Call another provider.

The Question Checklist: What to Ask Every Funeral Home

Use these questions on every call. Document answers for fair comparisons.

Availability and Logistics

• "Do you have availability on for arrangements and services?"
• "Who will be my main contact, and how do after-hours calls work?"
• "Can you handle arrangements if death occurred in another city or state?"
• "What's your typical timeline from first call to completed paperwork?"

Listen for clear, unhurried answers. Evasiveness or pressure at this stage signals trouble ahead.

Pricing Transparency (Start Here)

• "Can you email or mail your General Price List?"
• "What's your itemized price for direct cremation, and what does that include?"
• "What is your basic services fee and what does it cover?"
• "You mentioned packages. Can you also provide itemized prices for those services?"
• "Does today's quote match your current General Price List?"

Hesitation, refusal, or "just come in to discuss prices" violates federal law.

Total Costs and Cash Advance Items

• "Which charges are your services versus third-party items purchased on our behalf?"
• "Do you add a markup to cash advance items like flowers or obituary notices? How is that disclosed?"
• "For costs not yet known, will you provide a written good-faith estimate?"
• "What deposits are required, when is final payment due, and what payment methods do you accept?"
• "What's your cancellation or refund policy?"

Refund policies and prepayment rules vary by state. Confirm specifics for your location.

Embalming and Preparation

• "Is embalming required for our plan? If yes, is that legal requirement or your policy?"
• "What are the alternatives to embalming—refrigeration or adjusted timing?"
• "For a viewing, what preparation is included (washing, dressing, cosmetics) and what's the cost?"

Federal law does not mandate embalming. State requirements should be specifically identified. Funeral homes may require embalming for public viewings as their policy—they should state this clearly, not misrepresent it as law.

Cremation-Specific Questions

• "Do you offer direct cremation and what's included in that price?"
• "Who performs the cremation—on-site or third-party crematory?"
• "What identification and chain-of-custody procedures do you follow?"
• "What container is used? Do you offer alternative containers and what are the costs?"
• "What permits or authorizations are needed here, and who handles them?"

Cremation authorization requirements differ by state. Ask the funeral home to explain your local process.

Burial and Cemetery Coordination

• "What's included in immediate burial versus a full-service burial funeral?"
• "Do you coordinate with cemeteries and handle required permits?"
• "What cemetery costs aren't included (plot, opening/closing, liner/vault, cemetery fees)?"
• "Does the cemetery require an outer burial container? Is that cemetery policy or law?"

Outer burial containers are not required by state law anywhere in the U.S. Many cemeteries require them to prevent grave collapse. The funeral home should distinguish cemetery rules from legal requirements.

Caskets, Urns, and Third-Party Purchases

• "Can I purchase a casket or urn elsewhere, and will you accept delivery without a handling fee?"
• "Can I see your casket price list before viewing merchandise?"
• "What are your least expensive options for our plan?"

Unless specific state law says otherwise (which must be disclosed), funeral homes must accept third-party merchandise without extra charges.

Transportation and Out-of-Area Arrangements

• "What are your prices for receiving remains from another location or forwarding them elsewhere?"
• "For transport across state lines, what additional requirements apply?"
• "Who coordinates with airlines or transport services, and what are typical costs?"

Ask for a breakdown: their fee versus third-party transport charges.

Paperwork and Documentation

• "How many certified death certificates should we order and what do you charge per copy?"
• "Who files the death certificate and what's the usual timeline?"
• "What authorizations will you need from next-of-kin, and can you explain them before we sign?"

Death certificate costs and procedures vary by state. Funeral homes explain their forms but cannot provide legal advice. For probate or estate questions, consult an attorney.

Credentials and Oversight

• "Are your funeral directors and embalmers licensed in this state?"
• "Who will be responsible for care of the deceased and for our arrangements meeting?"
• "How do you handle complaints? What state board oversees funeral homes here?"

No federal licensing exists for funeral directors. Requirements vary by state. Ask which local agency handles regulation.

Service Quality and Details

• "What is your care and custody process for the deceased?"
• "How do you handle personal items, jewelry, and clothing? When are they returned?"
• "What accommodations do you offer (language access, accessibility, small private services)?"
• "What do families commonly regret not asking about?"

Choose a provider who answers thoughtfully without rushing you.

Understanding Funeral Costs: Benchmarks, Not Quotes

National median costs from the NFDA's 2023 study provide context for evaluating estimates. These are benchmarks—actual prices vary widely by region and provider.

• Traditional burial funeral with viewing: $8,300 median ($9,995 with vault)
• Cremation funeral with viewing: $6,280 median
• Basic services fee: $2,495 median

What drives the bill: The basic services fee covers overhead and planning. Add facility and staff time, merchandise (caskets often range from $2,000 to $10,000), and third-party fees like crematory or cemetery charges. Always ask funeral homes to separate their charges from cash advance items.

What this means for you: If quotes significantly exceed these benchmarks, ask why. If they're significantly lower, verify what's included. Neither high nor low prices guarantee quality—transparency does.

Red Flags That Demand Your Attention

FTC undercover investigations identified common violations. Watch for these warning signs:

Refusal to provide a GPL or phone pricing. The most frequent violation in recent FTC sweeps. If they won't quote prices over the phone, they're breaking federal law.

Package pricing without itemized breakdowns. You have the legal right to see individual item costs.

Inconsistent quotes on repeat calls. Prices should match the current General Price List across all calls.

Claiming embalming or caskets are "legally required" without citing specific rules. This is often misrepresentation. Demand they identify the law in writing.

Hidden fees beyond the basic services fee. Extra "casket handling fees" or additional non-declinable charges violate the FTC Funeral Rule.

Aggressive upselling or pressure to sign immediately. Legitimate providers give you time and space to decide.

If you encounter these: Request everything in writing. Ask for the GPL and itemized statement before paying. Call another provider.

Pre-Planning Ahead of Time: Extra Questions

Pre-need contracts carry different risks than at-need arrangements. Ask these questions before signing or paying:

• "Is the price locked in or can it increase at time of need?"
• "Where is my prepayment held (trust or insurance)? What happens if you go out of business?"
• "Who receives interest earned on prepaid funds?"
• "What are the cancellation and refund terms?"
• "If survivors change arrangements later, how is repricing handled?"

Critical consideration: Pre-need contracts are regulated by state law, not federal law. Consumer protections vary dramatically. Before signing or paying anything, have a qualified financial advisor or attorney review the contract. Don't rely solely on the funeral home's explanation of state rules.

How to Compare Funeral Homes and Decide

Follow this simple process:

Pick 2–4 funeral homes based on location, online reviews, or recommendations.

Request the GPL and an itemized estimate for the identical scenario from each provider.

Compare totals and major line items: basic services fee, facility use, vehicles, casket or urn, third-party fees.

Confirm policies in writing: third-party merchandise acceptance, embalming alternatives, refund terms.

Balance cost with transparency and responsiveness. The cheapest option isn't always best if the provider evades questions.

Your Top 10 Questions for Every Call

Keep this list handy:

1. Can you send your General Price List?
2. What is the itemized total cost for ?
3. What does the basic services fee include?
4. Which items are cash advances? Do you add a markup?
5. Is embalming required for our plan, and under what rule?
6. What are the direct cremation or immediate burial options and costs?
7. Can we use a casket or urn purchased elsewhere without a handling fee?
8. What cemetery or crematory requirements are law versus policy?
9. What is your refund and cancellation policy?
10. Who regulates funeral homes in this state? Are you licensed?

Remember: This guide provides educational information, not legal advice. Requirements and costs vary by state and locality. Verify specifics with your state funeral board or consumer protection office. For contract, estate, or financial questions, consult licensed professionals in your jurisdiction.

You have the right to clear answers, itemized prices, and respectful service. Take the time you need to feel confident in your choice.

Quick Phone Script Prompts

If you're uncertain what to say, use these exact phrases:

• "I'm comparing options. Can you email your General Price List and itemized prices for direct cremation?"
• "Is that a legal requirement or your policy? Which state or local rule applies?"
• "Before we sign anything, I need the written itemized statement showing everything selected and the total cost."